Earlier this year, former lead singer of CCM band Hawk Nelson Jon Steingard has declared on social media that "I no longer believe in God," explaining "it didn't happen overnight." In a recent interview on Christian artist Mathew West's podcast, Steingard reveals that he is not an atheist, but an agnostic.
"A lot of the things that you would need to believe in order to say that you're a Christian, I have a hard time believing. But then I also don't feel satisfied with just a completely atheistic perspective. I guess I'm a little difficult," he said. "Agnostic is probably the closest term to where I'm at right now."
Despite being an agnostic, Steingard has not stopped praying. "I've never had more conversations about God than I'm having right now. I've never read the Bible more than I am right now ... There's so much I didn't know. I still pray. When I pray now, it sounds something like 'God, I don't know if you're there. If you're not there, then what I'm doing right now isn't harming anything. But if you are there, then, if you can hear what I'm doing right now and talking to you, can you show up in my life?'"
The singer first made the shocking announcement on Instagram in May. He said his loss of faith in God "didn't happen overnight."
"This is not a post I ever thought that I would write, but now I feel like I really need to," Steingard wrote. "After growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor's kid, playing and singing in a Christian band, and having the word 'Christian' in front of most of the things in my life - I am now finding that I no longer believe in God."
Steingard listed some questions he has been struggling with: "Why does he (God) say not to kill, but then instruct Israel to turn around and kill men women and children to take the promised land?" and "Why does Jesus have to die for our sins (more killing again)?"
Steingard ultimately came to his own conclusion that the Bible can't be trusted because he felt in the end it is "human, flawed and imperfect." He also admitted that he and his wife didn't enjoy going to church, reading the Bible, praying or worshiping.
The discussion with West concluded with Steingard saying he is doesn't believe God will reject him because he is "genuinely searching."