Co-founder of the Gospel Coalition, author, and retired pastor Tim Keller opens up about his greatest fear during his cancer treament. Keller has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year. In an interview on Tuesday with pastor Nicky Gumbel of HTB Church, Keller shares about his hopes and fears.
"Now God has just decided well, we're going to reverse the roles here and you're both going to have to get used to what it means to trust me in this new role," Keller says, sharing that in their marriage he has typically been "the strong one" as he's cared for his wife Kathy, who has Crohn's Disease.
"My fear isn't dying. My fear is actually leaving her behind and that's her biggest fear as well. It's a terrible fear," Keller says.
However, Keller says, despite that very real fear, he and Kathy "never want to go back spiritually to where we were before the cancer diagnosis. We never want to go back to that because in spite of all the things I've already preached, I wasn't a hypocrite exactly but the reality is that most of us say we need to depend on God but we actually think we've got it sorted."
He says the diagnosis has helped them come to new terms with the reality of God's presence and control over their lives.
That reality has given him a new appreciation for things in life, and has brought him joy. "I'm actually happier than I've ever been on a given day. I enjoy the things around me in a way that I've never enjoyed them before - I see them as gifts of God - and I enjoy my prayer life more than I ever have in my life."